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General update: 04-09-2013 17:20

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Hey Baby.. The Lamest Pickup Lines. Ever.

I spent some time in the Gulf of Mexico this summer, hanging around the water, checking out the sights and generally having a great time. Obviously, being the beach, the sights were quite nice with lots (and lots) of buff guys in board shorts participating in their guys in board shorts activities. Most of those activities revolved around tossing footballs, riding surfboards, driving around in jeeps and hanging around the bars at night.

When one of my best friends flew out from LA to hang out for a while, it got even more exciting. Our daily goal of 5 phone numbers made it a fun fun time :)

But, and there is ALWAYS a but in stories like this, the other (not as buff) side of this life is the unavoidable crowd of drunken football skinned fossils in unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts and massive watches who think tossing out nasty pickup lines to girls in wheelchairs is either fun or flattering.

And sometimes, they are just so far off the mark it's astounding. Which brings me to my pick for the Worst Pick Up Line of 2011.

Are you ready? I truly don't think I can prepare you enough for this.. and I swear it's true.

"Why don't we just go somewhere and lick each other."

I'll wait while you brush your teeth. I know I threw up a bit in my mouth when I heard it.

So, can you top it?

I have more..

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