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General update: 04-09-2013 17:20

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Hook Up Horror Stories

More Erroneous Zone fun!!

Hook Up Horrors - they happen to all of us at least once. Sometimes they're just mildly amusing and not worth the effort of talking about, but sometimes they're funny enough that you just have to share.

I'll start.

There was a guy who was trying to impress me with his "worldly" ways. He bragged (non-stop) about his money, his education, everything you'd think was a plus, only the guy was short, fat and without a doubt the most physically unattractive man I have ever laid eyes on. His arrogant pompous attitude was a total turnoff.

He gave me a tour of his house and wouldn't you know it, he had a bidet in the bathroom. He was still in show-off mode when he asked me (kind of rudely too I might add) if I knew what one was and how to use it.

Since I was completely uninterested and a bit offended by his attitude, I played dumb and said no, I've seen them on tv but never in real life.

That was all the invitation he needed. He made a big production of demonstrating the mechanism, turning knobs and moving levers and then said "this is how you turn it on" and leaned over the bowl and hit the button.

Well he had adjusted all the knobs and had turned the water pressure up so high that when he hit the button, this huge FAT jet of water shot up and hit him SQUARE IN THE FACE. It was all I could do not to fall out of my chair laughing, watching him react and struggle to turn the water off. All the while he's sputtering and flailing to turn the water off, he's watching me watching him and I'm shaking with the effort not to laugh out loud.

He finally got the water under control and walked out of the room and shut the door, where I promptly lost it, I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face.

Of course, as soon as I could, I shared this wonderful story with my girlfriends at work, and now I've shared it with you.

The ball is again in your court. Top it. Please :)

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