The study showed this information. More than half (58%) of the women with disabilities were single, compared to 45% of the women without disabilities. Regarding sexual orientation, 87% of the women with disabilities were attracted to men, 4% to women, 7% to both genders, and 2% to neither gender. The majority have been sexually active; 92% have had sex with a man, 16% with a woman, but 6% had never had sex with anyone. Women without disabilities were slightly more likely to have had sex with a man (94%), but were significantly more likely to have had sex with a woman (23%), or with both men and women (21%).  Link to site information.
Women who were disabled earlier in life tended to begin dating later than women who were disabled later in life or who were not disabled. Women with disabilities also tended to move away from home later than did women without disabilities. When the woman lived with her mother and her disability began in childhood, she was particularly susceptible to being overprotected. The women with disabilities whose parents encouraged dating and going out with friends tended to have more effective social skills.

The most troublesome problem for women with disabilities was attracting partners to date. Factors that were associated with problems in attracting partners were having low self-esteem, less education, communication impairments, and societal barriers to dating, such as someone being interested but not asking her out because of what others might say. Women who reported societal barriers to dating were those who had communication problems, a high level of functional impairment, and personal barriers to dating, such as rarely getting out of the house to meet people. Women with cerebral palsy, low self-esteem, or a high level of functional impairment perceived that they had personal barriers to dating. Even when women with disabilities were socially outgoing, with strong social skills and many friends, friendships were less likely to evolve into romantic relationships than they were for able-bodied women.

The timing of onset of disability, and the response to disability of family, friends, and society in general, were critical in establishing patterns of dating behaviors for women with physical disabilities. Parents who encouraged their teenager daughter to go out and meet people, who gave her the expectation that she could marry someday if she wished, who equipped her with the information and social skills she needed to attract dates, and most importantly, who made her feel valued and attractive, set the stage for having positive dating relationships. Laying a strong foundation for future adult relationships gave the woman with a disability the strength to deal with social prejudice against her dating as an adult. Conversely, parents who overprotected their daughter, who told her not to expect to date or to get married, or who were neglectful or abusive set the stage for unsuccessful attempts to establish dating relationships, repetitive exploitative relationships, or unplanned pregnancy.

I found this information interesting, although I guess I never really thought about these outcomes. Many of the women I have met who are disabled are very outgoing women, beautiful, smart and had self esteem. So what happened to the ladies in this study?

I do remember when my injury happened that I thought for one moment, “Who would want me now”?  I also had the luck of my high school sweetheart who was a true love, even asked me to marry him when he found out I was injured. He was not the guy I was dating at the time of my injury, that guy dumped me when I was in the hospital after a few months; my new found disability was too hard for him to take. I have always stayed wonderful friends with my high school sweetheart and we even dated for many years on and off, we never did marry and we remain the best of friends to this day.  After the thought of "who would want me" swirled around in my head and I only pondered for a moment, then the next thought in my head was that, “I was still me".  I then knew that I would find the best of the best men after my disability. I found this to be true because the men who were interested in me, they seen past the blond hair, the blue eyes, the nice legs and figure, they seen me. My other features were an added feature. I always dubbed this thought of weeding out the true jerks, which was actually true. I always got the nice guys.

Over the years after the initial Spinal cord injury I sustained, I have found many wonderful dates and also relationships. I was married for 16 plus years and have four children from that marriage. I have been single for the last 4 years and have had many dates and a few brief relationships, all of whom I have ended with us all being friends.  I like it that way.  Today, I have met the man of my dreams; you know the one, handsome, smart, and funny and just rock’s your world. Now he never had been around a disabled woman. I caught him off guard, just the way I like it. 

I think that no matter what the woman’s disability is she still wants a long lasting friendship and love affair with her mate, that is just a woman’s nature no matter if she has a disability or not.  So how do we attract the opposite sex or our mate? Is it the way we glide by them, zooming that catches them off guard. I always get a kick out of that fact, you know when you see the chair zoom by, then it’s the blond hair, you may see some cleavage or something pretty I wear, or hear me laugh with my friends that mesmerized you.  What caught your attention? It may have been the chair. Although most men I have had relationships with said just that it was the wheelchair that first caught their attention, then they have commented that it was me they were curious about. Most of the men I have dated previously never had an experience with a woman in a wheelchair.  They never introduced me as “this is Madonna my girlfriend in a wheelchair”. I think they may have gotten smacked for that one.  They were always the quality men, those who loved me for me and the wheels that accompanied me.

Many women who are disabled are strong; they have been through events that others would parish if encountered.  I say. “Go be who you are girlfriends and show your beauty” this will enable you to find that one man who lights your fire and warms your heart. I know he is out there. I encourage you to feel beautiful, sexy and seductive, trust me you can do this.  Go to Victoria’s secrets and pick out something lovely to wear, even if it is just for you.  When you find him I am sure you will appreciate the wait. Sometimes the most wonderful things happen when one least expects them, and good things come to those who are patient. And, fella's hang on your in for the greatest most amazing woman you have ever met, so hold on for the ride.